


Crossing Lines

by sorrow_key



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Arguing, Fluff, Foreshadowing, Gen, Getting Together, I mean its practically how they communicate, M/M, Pining but not quite?, Referenced sword fighting training, Relationship Study, what even is romo attraction - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:18:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrow_key/pseuds/sorrow_key
Summary: “Are you fucking serious?” Elliot stands up. “That's how you react to me telling you I might love you?”“Not just me,” Leo adds laconically.“And I'm what, supposed to tell you you're the only one I actually know I want to be together with all my life besides kiss for you to have an opinion on that?!”Elliot glares at him, hesitance forgotten in his tirade, and the moon shines brightly above him and Leo can do nothing but stare.(in which leo ponders the nature of his and elliot's relationship and feelings are, for once, talked about.)





	Crossing Lines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Licilou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Licilou/gifts).



> Thank you again, Licilou, for getting me back into Pandora Hearts (which is like my fandom forever even when I'm lowkey about it)  
> And for letting me complain about writing romance to you - if not for you, this wouldn't exist:D

There's the question, from the very beginning on, why the hell Elliot hangs around him.

First Leo thinks it's because he's an entitled show-off and he's right, in a way. But not in the way he thought.

Elliot is… a lot of things, musician and sword fighter, an idealist who fancies himself a realist, trampling over the status quo with almost oblivious disdain while heatedly professing to the tradition and honor of his house. He's self righteous to the point of being full of himself and believes his own well-intentioned opinion to be the height of truth, as if there's no bunch of contradictions.

Elliot is funny that way.

But Leo does not know that then; he only knows what he observes and what he reads, and despite himself, the former is a lot.

He never was as good as separating himself from his surroundings as he would've liked.

And what he observes is that Elliot is a spoiled, oblivious brat who'd probably always gotten his way and can't take not being right or grovelled before.

Leo doesn’t have the patience for that, even when he knows better than to provoke what's essentially the son of the hand that feeds him.

What's surprising is that Leo barely gets in trouble.

What's even more surprising is that Elliot comes back. And keeps coming back.

He thinks Elliot must be bored then. Looking for the thrill of a different life; playing with poor little orphans, finding twisted pleasure in the difference between their living standards, maybe.

It's a feeble explanation for why Elliot keeps seeking out arguments with him, but then again, he's too annoyed, too immersed in their fights and his books to give it serious thought.

Still, he disproves it quickly enough - Elliot is so in your face about being himself, that it'd actually be difficult to consistently misinterpret his character.

He's much too dragged along by the kids, too blunt and unpitying to be offering hypocritical charity.

Leo entertains the thought of Elliot simply returning to have the last word and entertains giving it to him, just to see what he'll do.

But no. Leo isn't that pitying either.

In the end, it's obvious.

From the things Elliot mentions about his family and nobility in general - the latter not being very flattering; Leo soaks the new information up as he does his studies, - it's not hard to piece together:

Elliot’s in your face kind of communication doesn't lend itself well to an environment that values presentation and reputation as much as, if not more than skill, and he's too nosey and independent to be content when he feels like his family treats him like a child.

Somehow, this all added up to make Leo the best candidate for companionship in Elliot’s lonely, messed up head, that sees arguments as communication and insults as honesty.

Leo's bad, for not recognising their interactions for the strange courtship they were. But mostly Elliot’s, really, for being the kind of idiot he is.

But it is what it is, and they go surprisingly well together. In music and reading and even talking, eventually.

Elliot values his opinion more than Leo initially gave him credit for, and Leo, well, Leo had never recognised loneliness before he met Elliot.

He likes him, he really does. More than he'd care to admit. More than he ever imagined he could.

There's a charm in his rude candor, in his naive conviction that if he tries hard enough, he can move the earth in the direction he wants.

And maybe Leo's a bit lonely and messed up too, because he wants to go along with Elliot and see if he can't just manage to pull it off with his help.

 

***

 

That's not all of it though, not entirely.

There's the way Elliot’s eyes linger on him sometimes.

His investment in Leo's looks, which is understandable to an extent because Elliot just has to worry at things he doesn't understand to figure out what makes them tick, but does nothing to explain the backhanded compliments.

It's just another way Elliot pins his ridiculous level of affection for Leo to the figurative sleeve he wears his heart on.

He's not sure to what extent Elliot is aware of this, if at all. Then again, he never could entirely tell this about Elliot practically flapping his heart's sleeve in the faces of everyone within reaching distance until someone reacts either.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Leo won't point it out. He's not like Elliot; he's content to observe from afar instead of always pushing to understand.

And what would Leo even want to achieve with this thing he sees? Elliot isn't the kind to be able to let something he's aware of be, and that might just invite more trouble than they can take.

There are borders between them that they prod at but never overstep in fear of breaking something infinitely precious as they do:

Of all the things Leo can't share with Elliot, that it feels like Elliot is keeping from him, this one is the most innocent.

And as for what Leo feels in return: he cares about Elliot more than anyone else. Sometimes he thinks he'd like it if a romance between them could be. Other times he doesn't care one way or another, and rarer still he can't stand the thought of that kind of relationship, even if it's with Elliot.

And so they prod at these barriers, a push and pull that's accompanied them for as long as they've known each other:

 and he wonders at how obvious Elliot can be when he puts his hands around Leo’s to correct how he uses a sword but doesn't pull away,

   which Elliot insists on teaching him even as he knows better than to push Leo to carry and use weapons,

        and when someone gets up the courage to confess to Elliot, Leo tells him to be nice and not hurt more than he needs, to at least consider the possibility of a relationship seriously because otherwise he might be left with regret one day and Leo sardonically talks about future and traditions, but never with the assumption that there is no path for Elliot besides settling down,

             and Elliot listens, and Elliot replies, like the sap he is, that he is neither cruel nor meek enough to settle for a love less than true, except he doesn't know what that feels like, but he trusts that he'll know when he does, and he rejects them all in the end anyway,

                  and Elliot turns the question around and it's transparent that he simultaneously wants to know that he's not alone in what he's never known, as well as what that actually is, because all bluster aside, he can barely imagine it,

                            and Leo doesn’t say he thinks it's what he sees in Elliot’s eyes at times, he doesn't say it's what he's at times almost sure he feels in return, and he teases Elliot’s sappiness and his earnestness because this is what they know, and he replies that yes, he is in fact in love - with his books,

                                    and Elliot says that that's not love, not the one they're talking about, and that's how they're back on familiar territory,

                                            and they argue, on a general instead of personal level, what makes love what it is, and Elliot makes it out to be grand and undeniable, and Leo cynically hypothesises about society and primal urges,

                                                   and in the end, as most arguments go,

it comes back to books,

 

                                                       and in the end, as everything between them goes,

the barriers remain uncrossed.

  


***

 

Until this:

The evening air is dark, chilly and heady with the scent of the academy's garden; lavender and daffodils and roses and uncountable flowers all interwoven in a single shroud of smell.

It toes the line between pleasant and oppressive.

Leo doesn’t pay it any mind, caught up in the history of ciphers in artwork. He doesn’t feel cold either, protected by single-minded focus on another reality and Elliot’s warmth pressed against his side.

“Hey,” says Elliot, very close and slightly raspy from the chill and how long they've been sitting here in silence, “we should get going soon.”

Leo hums, not bothering with a reply. They don't make a habit of causing trouble, so he thinks they could get away with staying out after curfew this once.

It is the kind of moment that feels so perfectly comfortable that even appreciating it would destroy it, and Leo would quite like to stay in it a little longer.

“Hey, _Leo_ ,” Elliot repeats more insistently.

“What?” Leo looks up, still too buzzed from the inebriated joy of truly having lost himself in a book and the pleasant atmosphere to respond as cuttingly as usual to the interruption.

Elliot points down to Leo's feet with a constipated expression. “We've got company.”

Leo becomes aware of the cat pressing up against his leg. It's one of Ada’s, he recognises. He doesn’t remember the name.

“So what?” He asks, smiling with silent shrewdness. “Jealous?”

Elliot rolls his eyes, but doesn't throw any of his usual tantrums. As to not scare the cat, probably.

He always was more transparent than he knew.

“Of course not,” Elliot says. “Besides, this… mongrel annoyed me for an hour just now.”

“And you didn't think to speak up then?” Leo asks, amused. “Suspicious.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Elliot snaps, casting a worried look to the cat that remains unmoved by his words.

Leo laughs and bends down to pick up the cat. Unlike Elliot, he's never stopped being cautious towards animals, but the cat lets Leo place it on his lap without protest. There, it vibrates contently.

“An annoying mongrel, are you?” Leo comments as he slides his hand from just above its nose to its back, glancing at Elliot in challenge and amusement.

“I can't imagine the torment you must've put my master through.”

Elliot hisses wordlessly in dismay and holds his finger in front of the cat's nose. It nuzzles it curiously. Elliot proceeds to scratch its chin and its purring becomes so strong it reverberates through Leo.

“If you're gonna pet this- this thing, at least do it well.”

Leo laughs again, so hard he throws his head back. Above him, the starless sky is tinted gold as always, and a bright, early moon blinks down at him.

The cat jumps from his lap and scuttles away into the dark with an insulted glance. Elliot watches it go with a frown, still bent towards Leo's lap.

“I'm sure it will come here tomorrow again,” Leo says, settling into Elliot’s side.

“Good. Maybe a teacher will finally catch it,” Elliot says, straightening up.

Leo smiles into the darkness.

“You know, I won't actually judge you if you admit you like cats,” he says, meeting Elliot’s eyes. “Make fun of you, maybe, but you brought that on yourself with how ridiculous you get over it.”

He fully expects Elliot to scoff at that, maybe even sulk, but Elliot just tenses and looks away with a blush.

So ridiculous, Leo thinks fondly.

In retrospect, maybe that should've warned him, but for once, Leo is too relaxed. Elliot tends to make him feel like that - and many other ways too.

“Maybe I was wrong,” Elliot says out of the blue, still facing away from Leo.

“About time you admit it,” Leo says. “Liking cats isn't that big of a deal.”

Elliot makes another wordless sound. “That's not what I'm talking about, you moron!”

“Well,” Leo argues, “How do you expect me to know? Is reading minds another thing valets should do, because forgive me if-”

“You're impossible,” Elliot interrupts, “Do you have to make everything into an argument?”

“Now that's just pot calling the kettle black, even you should be self-aware enough to see that, master,” Leo shoots back, to his immediate regret.

That had been too sharp and cut too true for a comfortable argument, and Leo didn't intend to poison this beautiful evening with a real fight.

“It's annoying when you call me that,” Elliot says.

There are a billion caustic replies Leo can give that, but that would mean throwing away the chance to de-escalate Elliot has given him.

So Leo says, “It's the truth,” even though he knows that it is not the only truth about them.

Elliot breathes out frustratedly, wearing the expression he gets when he thinks something’s wrong, but can't think of a good argument.

“That's not all we are,” he says in the end.

Leo hums and replies, “That's true enough. So in that case, what did you mean?”

Elliot hesitates and Leo considers making a comment about backing down and cowardice, but maybe Elliot sees this in his face or he finishes gathering himself, because he says, “I was talking about love.”

“Ahhh,” says Leo, deciding against teasing when he sees the red tenseness in Elliot’s face. “That.”

“What's brought that on, Elliot? Got someone you like?”

Even though he's encouraged Elliot to seek out relationships, he supposes it will be a little sad to lose the closeness they have now when Elliot will inevitably prioritise someone else.

Then again, he's never expected any different.

“I don’t _know_ ,” Elliot answers with teeth-gnashing frustration. “That's why I'm not sure anymore, if love is really like it's supposed to be, because I should know and I _don't_!”

Ahh. Well, this isn't entirely what Leo expected. He'd wondered about how self-aware Elliot really was when it came to his own emotions, but he'd thought that as long as Elliot acknowledged their existence, he had no trouble recognising and in turn expressing them.

“Is it that important?”

Elliot stares at him like he's lost his mind. “Of course it is! How am I supposed to be in a relationship with someone I'm not sure I love!”

Leo laughs. Elliot is so painstakingly idealistic, so hopelessly earnest. Leo will never get tired of that.

“Not all relationships have to lead to marriage,” he points out. “You could always play around and see where it goes.”

Elliot gapes in disgust. “I'm not that kind of worthless man!”

“What's so worthless about it?” Leo asks, genuinely curious. “It's better than doing that _after_ you get married.”

“That doesn't make it good, Leo, what the hell. It's still… dishonest.”

“If that's your problem, just make sure your secret maybe-love knows where you stand. Then it should be fine, right?”

“...I guess,” Elliot mutters, pained. “But it would still change things and if it's not even love, why would it be worth it?”

And these words pierce through Leo and leave his heart throbbing and aching. This, he knows. This has been a recurring thought ever since he realised Elliot might love him, ever since he realised he might love him back.

And maybe it's the lovely night or the flowers, the memory of the ease between them or that secretly, against reason, Leo hopes for a time where there will be no need for barriers, no underlying sense of dread as if the days of this happiness are numbered.

Or maybe it's that at that moment, Elliot looks like he should be memorialized in a painting or a photograph, but also so very deeply troubled.

Out of all the things between them, this should matter the least, Leo thinks and says, “Elliot, am I the person you're talking about?”

Elliot freezes. He looks like a deer staring at the barrel of a gun, except Elliot is trained for that situation.

He looks like he might backpedal, and Leo would let him.

Leo is considering backpedalling himself, because all things aside, he really doesn't want Elliot to look at him like the weird one.

“Yes,” Elliot finally says, sounding like the word is wrenched from him. “It's not only you, but yes.”

“I see,” Leo says, and maybe it should feel different, grander or more repulsive, as romance sometimes does.

He's not sure if it makes it better or worse, that there are others Elliot might love.

“What do you want to do about it then?”

“Are you fucking serious?” Elliot stands up. “That's how you react to me telling you I might love you?”

“Not just me,” Leo adds laconically.

“And I'm what, supposed to tell you you're the only one I actually know I want to be together with all my life besides kiss for you to have an opinion on that?!”

Elliot glares at him, hesitance forgotten in his tirade, and the moon shines brightly above him and Leo can do nothing but stare.

He feels like he's falling a little, and a little like he's warm.

He adjusts his glasses and slowly rises. “If you wanted my opinion, Elliot, all you had to do was ask.”

Elliot looks at him expectantly.

Leo smirks. “So ask.”

And part of him is stalling as he searches himself for what he wants, because he's never thought this would actually happen and he doesn't intend to hurt Elliot through thoughtlessness and his own skewed emotions towards love. But another part of him is enjoying this.

“Why do you have to make everything so difficult,” Elliot mutters, but it holds even less heat than usual after his confession.

“Leo,” Elliot asks, staring straight at him the way he did when he asked him to be his valet, “what do you think about me possibly being in love with you?”

Leo smiles. “I think I'm not averse to that.”

“What does that even mean?” Elliot complains. “Do you want to be in a relationship with me or not?”

“That wasn't the question. Besides, from what you said you don't even know if _you_ want to be in a relationship with _me._ ”

Elliot plopped back on the bench. “You're right, I don't. Shit, this is such a mess.”

Leo sits down next to him, leaning into Elliot again. “It sure is.”

And somehow, they end up laughing under the stars, because aren't they ridiculous, the pair of them. Knowing they want the other, but not in what ways.

Leo doesn’t want to ever lose him.

There are gruff voices in the distance and Leo puts his hand on Elliot’s arm. And he's glad, he really is, that despite everything, it looks like they'll get to keep their casual contact.

“We should go now. Unless you want to get caught out past curfew.”

Elliot rises and offers a hand to Leo. “Alright, but we're talking about this.”

“We're talking about this,” Leo agrees readily, letting Elliot pull him up.

“And you won't put me above what you want just because you're my valet.” Elliot eyes him suspiciously and doesn't let go of his hand.

“Wouldn't dream of it.” Leo says, smiling, and doesn't let go either.

**Author's Note:**

> Ironically enough this might just be one of the most romantic fics I've ever written 
> 
> The thing about Elliot liking people besides Leo is vaguely formulated, what I intended is that Elliot tries to downplay his confession out of worry it'll change things for the worse between them, plus he's only recently discovered physical attraction is a thing that happens to him - however, Leo is the one he has the strongest emotional bond with of the ones it happens with.  
> It can also be read as Elliot being open to poly, which I think he'd be as long as he a) he knows it's a thing, b) he manages to look past his internalised view of relationships, c) he finds someones with a fitting connection and d) his partners are good with it  
> However, I think he could be happy with monogamy too


End file.
